Alright you’ve made it through the wilderness. If all things are going smoothly, you’ve weeded out the good from the bad, and you’ve reached that in depth analysis and found no traces of a Player/Heartbreaker quality within them, you might actually have the real deal with you right there. The time it takes to really get to know your significant other and their intentions on an intimate level is, on average, two months. Now, I know it’s hard to hold yourself off to someone with such a certain caliber to their character, but you must. You must, you must, you MUST! Time and time again, I’ve seen how sex can take a relationship that started out so pure and corrupt it over time because they couldn’t hold out on sex.
If you have, what could be, “the one” in your arms why would you jeopardize it? You want it to last, don’t you? In the very beginning everything is new. The first kiss between you was passionate, and sparked an electricity like none other; the first date will always be remembered; and the feeling that you connected with someone in such a short amount of time (and it IS a short amount of time) brings you to an uncontrollable urge to want to scream out, “I LOVE YOU!”. That’s with EVERY relationship you encounter. You’re always going to have those feelings with the new person you’re growing accustomed to. You get to feeling so comfortable with that person that you can’t help but want to give it away. This is the reason for my Three-Month Rule.
It takes four to six weeks to see if you really have someone worth holding on to. That time was just to get to know their intentions and the person within them on a personable level. The last four to six weeks should be used to form the base and foundation of the relationship. It’s at this time that things get to be a little protocol, and the real strength of the relationships kicks in. How long are you able to endure those long silences on the phone? In the beginning, you could talk for hours about your day, but deeper and deeper in the relationship it gets harder to be creative on the phone. Same goes with your date nights. How can you keep it interesting? Going to a movie week after week gets boring and old. Sure... you're spending time with that special person; but nobody likes feeling like an "old married couple" after that short amount of time, right??
Sex always seems like a way to spice up any relationship that seems to be heading toward that repetitive routine. It’s a mistake in every way to trust in sex to bring it back because the sex is what your relationship will be based on. It won’t matter what it was in the beginning that drew you to each other. Sex will take over that initial attraction, and will, unfortunately, outweigh anything after it. Anytime you have a quarrel, when you can’t communicate like you used to, or you go on a “break” sex is what will be used to piece the puzzle of your relationship together. Unfortunately the piece that you’re trying to use to piece it back is the wrong shape, and will inevitably never be completed.
I know what you’re doing. You’re thinking about the person you’re with or were with at one time, and counting the months before you had sex with them, aren’t you? hahaha
So… we’ve established that the first four to six weeks is to determine the other person’s intentions as well as little trivial knowledge about them. It’s the last four to six weeks within the Three-Month Rule that you get into the intimacy aspect. It is during this process where you find your true foundation of which the relationship should be based on. Common interests, same passions, mutual goals, and everything else that might come up are all good examples. Plus, if your partner is so eager to have sex then it’s a good possibility that they’re one of the people you needed to be on the look out for. If you can feel that the person you’re with is “the one”, shouldn’t they be worth the wait?? Shouldn't they feel that YOU are worth the wait??
If you and your partner have successfully waited through the Three-Month Rule have at it. Plan it three times a day if needs be. Because you have waited you now have a solid foundation as well as connection with that person which will also make the sex all the more pleasurable. Sex is good on its own, but knowing that the other person cares, and (possibly) loves you as much as you do to them adds so much more to it. The chemistry, the passion, the tenderness you feel for one another will be adequately distributed throughout one another, and will take you on higher levels you never saw with previous encounters and relationships.
The longer the wait, the more of a connection you will share, and the less likely it will be known as sex; and, instead, will be known as “love making”. In this day and age, I know how hard it is to resist temptation to just jump right into it, but if you do it’s all the more better. If you’re the good people that I know you are, I’m sure you’ll have no problem holding off as long as possible. My suggestion is to build it slowly over the period of a year. Use the Three-Month Rule to gradually build to sex/love making. If either one of you, at any time, ever feel a line should be drawn make sure you let the other know. At this time in the relationship neither side would get upset by the boundary being set, but instead will be acknowledged and respected.
And, just a thought... ... waiting really does ENHANCE the feeling of the sex/love making. The intimate connection you both have waited to build up, the knowing, and not just assuming, that you care for them just as much as they care about you; and knowing that, even when the night/moment has passed, you'll be there for one another the next day; the next week; and, possibly, years or the rest of your life to come.
A question for you readers... ... what's your limit? Do you agree that 3 months is a good amount of time to wait?? Or do you have a shorter timeline? Or longer?? I'd be greatly interested in knowing how/what you think on this subject; as with the other subjects from previous posts. ;-)
As always... I thank you for your support, and for reading. And hope this helps you on all of your future loving endeavors.
Much Love-
Rico - The Love Doctor
